


Nightmares and Dreams

by sweetbutnutty



Category: Gilmore Girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:24:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetbutnutty/pseuds/sweetbutnutty
Summary: When Rory dies in childbirth, will any of her dreams be realized?





	1. Chapter 1

"Ace." Logan smiles into the phone, despite the late hour. He's always been thrilled to hear from Rory, especially when he thought he never would again.  
"Logan. This is Lorelai."  
"Oh, Lorelai..." He's surprised and a little worried, but he's had his whole life to practice putting people at ease and wearing a mask for his emotions. Before he can speak again, his caller breaks in.  
"Logan, you need to come to Hartford. It's Rory."  
"What happened? Is she okay?" He drops any pretense of nonchalance. This is _Rory_ they're talking about. And something bad's happened.  
"I can't...not yet. I can't yet. Just...you need to be here. I wouldn't call you otherwise."  
"You're sure she wants me there?"  
"Yes, she told me to call you. Look, I have to go now. Call me when you get here. Or when you know your plans."  
"Okay, I'll talk to you shortly. Thank you, Lorelai. I'll be there as soon as I can be. I'm sure everything's going to be okay." Logan tries to soothe the distraught Lorelai, but knows he's failed when he hears her sniffles as she hangs up without another word.  


* * *

It takes less than an hour to gather a few clothes and toiletries and get to the airport. A direct flight to Hartford is four hours away, so he jumps on the next available flight to New York City, where he'll catch a flight to Hartford. Hell, he'll _run_ from New York to Hartford if it's his only option. It's Rory. She needs him. So he'll be there.  
During the flight, he makes arrangements to get the last leg of his journey over and hires a car and driver service. Then he sends the information both to Lorelai's phone and Rory's, to make sure Lorelai has it.  
He knows he should try to nap on the flight after he has taken care of what he needs to, but he can't when he tries. He's too keyed up and worried about Rory. What could it possibly be? He hasn't heard from her since the morning she said goodbye and sent him back to Odette and the dynastic plan. A car accident, maybe? Surely it's nothing like cancer...right? Whatever it is, he intends to be there for her as much as she will let him. Though he realizes her stubbornness and pride will need to be overcome. However, it's not the first time.  
Eventually, without his knowledge or consent, Logan falls asleep. He was woken at 2:23 a.m. London time amd the steady drone of the plane's engines help his body relax back into a dreamless slumber.  


* * *

Thankful he only has his carry-on with him, Logan speeds through the after-flight traffic and works towards his next destination: the hospital. Lorelai had sent him the hospital address while he was en route.  
While traveling this last leg of the journey, he calls and leaves a message for his assistant to clear his schedule for the remainder of the week, he would be unreachable except by email.  
When he arrives at the hospital, he goes to the information desk, as he can't get hold of Lorelai to find the room number. Just as he opens his mouth to answer who he is, his name is called.  
"Logan!"  
He turns and sees Lorelai, her diner boyfriend Luke -- no, wait, they'd finally gotten married a few months back -- and a man he believed he'd never see again. Jack? John? Jace? Rory's old writer friend who had only looked at Rory like she hung every star and cloud in the sky.  
"Lorelai. Luke. I hear congratulations are in order."  
"They _told_ you?!" Lorelai looks both horrified and baffled.  
"I have my sources." Nobody needed to know he had a subscription to the Stars Hollow Gazette. "The Adirondacks are a lovely place to honeymoon, I hear."  
"Oh, yeah. Our wedding. Thanks. Listen, we have to talk. Privately."  
"This talk needs to happen before I see Rory?"  
*sniffle* "Yes, Logan. It really does."  
"Ok, then. I am at your service." Turning back to the information desk attendant, he speaks quietly for a few minutes with the elderly gentleman before turning around to his audience. He's secured a room for them to talk without being bothered.  
In the room, he waits as patiently as possible for Lorelai to tell him what's going on.  
"I'm sorry. I don't know where to start."  
"What's wrong with Rory? What happened? What's her diagnosis? I'll help however I can. Just tell me what we're up against." Shocked, he watches Lorelai break down and the two other men, who've been silent all this time, get teary-eyed. Then, Luke clears his throat and opens his mouth.  
"Rory's gone, Logan. She's...she's gone."  
"So you need me to get a PI on her, see where she's at?"  
"No, no she's...she died a little before we called you."  
Silence.  
"No, she's only thirty-two. What _happened_, Luke?! Was it a car accident?"  
Luke keeps soothing his wife as he tries not to break down himself.  
"She died from complications from...from...she was put on bed rest. The doctors said it would help with her high blood pressure. And it did. Sorta. Until it didn't."  
"So, what, she had a stroke? Why was her blood pressure such an issue? Was she sick? Cancer?"  
"No, not cancer. Besides the blood pressure, she wasn't sick. She, um...she was, uh, aw hell. There's no easy way to tell you."  
"You've already given me the worst news you could give me, Luke. Please. Tell me. I need to know."  
"She died of complications from preeclampsia, Huntzberger." The writer fellow exploded verbally, looking as though he wanted to rip Logan apart while sobbing away his agony.  
"But that's a -- she was pregnant?" Logan whispers incredulously. "She never told me. Wait, it _was_ mine, right? Why didn't she tell me?"  
Lorelai finally gets a hold of herself enough to look at Logan and speak.  
"Yes, she was pregnant. She wanted to wait until the baby was here and she could get a paternity test done. Because she knew that you might believe it was yours, but Mitchum never would without proof. You have to know, she intended you to know, eventually. But, then her blood pressure put her on bed rest and when she went into labor prematurely, it was a complication. I'll spare you the details, but she's gone."  
"I'm..." Logan was speechless. He couldn't find the words to make this right. Nothing would ever be right about this. Nothing _could_ be right. Rory was gone.  
"And the baby?" He whispered.  
"Twins. Both boys. They're small and they were early, so they'll be kept here until they're bigger and stronger and out of the woods."  
"The babies are -- they made it?! What's wrong with them, exactly, besides being small?"  
"There's possible liver and/or kidney complications because of the preeclampsia. But their lungs are doing well and basically the doctors have said they need to grow a couple pounds each."  
"Can I see them? I want to see them."  
"She wanted you to know them. She never intended to keep you from them. But she made it perfectly clear she'd rather not have your parents in their lives."  
"I hear you. I can't promise they'll never know, but I will do everything in my power to protect them. Both for their sake and for Rory."  
"Good. Let's go introduce you to your new sons."  


* * *

The very first time Logan laid eyes on his sons was bittersweet. They had become the silver lining to the hurricane of pain he was feeling. The love of his life was gone forever, but she'd left him with the result of their love. They were his proof that it hadn't all been a beautiful dream. That Rory had been real. But they were so tiny and defenseless. He immediately felt a surge of fierce protectiveness. He would do everything in his power to protect them. But first...  
"What are their names?"  
"She decided on Richard Lucas for a boy. He's the blond one with the birthmark to the left of his bellybutton. The firstborn. She didn't know it was twins, so we came up with Corey Lee for the brunette. You'll see his birthmark's to the right of his bellybutton. We couldn't name him Rory, but we came close and gave him her middle name."  
"They are just perfect. Lorelai, I know nothing will ever make this right. I'm so, so sorry things happened this way. I'd never have wanted this world to be without her. Never. But I _am_ glad to have these boys in the world. Is it crazy to say I'm in love with them already?"  
"No, I know what you mean. Just wait 'til you hold them for the first time. It'll change everything in your world. That's how I felt, when..." Lorelai's voice drifts off as she relives that private moment with tears running silently down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mom?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm pregnant."  
Lorelai gasps. Her mind, for once, goes blank. She has no words, where words are her forte, even if they aren't the ones others understand or want to hear.  
"Mom?"  
"Yeah, hon?"  
"It's gonna be okay. Right?"  
"Of course it is. Between you and me, we'll always be alright."  
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Rory's head on her mom's shoulder.  
"Rory?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why tell me now? Do you need to talk about it?"  
"You just shared something important with me, I wanted to share something important, too. I'm so happy for you,Mom. You and Luke. And we can wait on talking about it. I just needed to share with you, so it'd be real."  
"Okay, hon. We can talk later. I'm so glad you were here."  
"Me, too, Mom. Me, too."  
"So...how's it feel?"  
"It feels...right."

* * *

For the next week, Lorelai and Luke were off on their honeymoon in the Adirondacks. Rory decided she needed at least one more of her best friends to know and decided on Lane. Paris would be told in time, but not yet.  
After the patented girl time, where Rory and Lane eat smuggled junk food and listen to music, catching up on life, Lane puts an end to Rory's distraction technique.  
"So, Rory."  
"So, Lane."  
"What have you been thinking about so hard that you're hardly here?"  
"I'm sorry, Lane. I don't mean to _not_ be here. I just -- I just have some news and I'm not sure how to tell you."  
"Usually you just blurt it out and we deal with it. Why mess with perfection?"  
"I'm pregnant."  
Silence.  
"So are we squealing for joy or do you need a paper bag and a pro/con list or do you need me to drive you to exercise your rights? 'Cuz I can go whichever way you need."  
"We're quielty and tentatively squealing." At which point Lane squeals into a pillow with a full-body shimmy, directly before launching herself with a huge grin at Rory for a long, ecstatic hug. As they release each other, Lane begins the question portion of the show.  
"So do you know what you want? Have you started thinking of names? How did Lorelai take it?"  
"I don't know what i want. As a Gilmore, I expect a girl. As a Huntzberger, it's just as likely a boy. I'd like to honor my grandpa if it is a boy, though. Mom...took it in stride after the immediate shock was over."  
"Huntzberger, huh? I can't really say that's a surprise. So will it be a Gilmore or a Huntzberger or a Gilmore-Huntzberger?"  
"I think I want to hyphenate."  
"How did Logan react?"  
"I haven't told anyone but you and Mom yet."  
"How do you think he'll take it?"  
"How much has Mitchum pissed him off that day?" Rory asks rhetorically.  
"So he could go either way, huh? Well, you've got this whole town and me and your mom and Luke and your grandma to back you. It's not like you'll ever be alone, no matter how you may wish for it sometimes."  
"I haven't a clue how to tell Grandma. Grandpa would be so disappointed in how my life's turned out."  
"You're only thirty-two. It's not like your life is over, Rory. You're just starting a new chapter."  
"Of the latest horror story," Rory retorts.  
"Nah, just a slightly scary story. It's not like we're about to start seeing Pennywise everywhere."  
With that comment, they begin talking about other topics like they used to back in the day. Upcoming movies, musicians, etc. Neither had realized how badly they needed this reconnect after the past year -- years, if they were being honest.

* * *

After her visit with Lane, Rory goes to her second home in Stars Hollow. Luke's diner. She knew Caesar was supposed to be running the place and it wouldn't be quite the same as always, but she didn't feel like heading home just yet.  
When she arrives, she's pleasantly surprised to see Jess at the coffee machine, so she decides to sit at the counter. When she asks for a decaf coffee, Jess looms her over and asks if she's okay before delivering said decaf to her.  
"Yeah, I'm just... I decided to lower my caffeine intake. No big deal. I'm sure I'll be over it in a few months."  
"Months? Rory," Jess leans in and whispers, "are you _pregnant_?!"  
She looks at him with those huge blue eyes shining in disbelief and can't say a word. She doesn't want to lie. Not to Jess. Not about this.  
"Nobody in town knows besides Mom and Lane. Not even Luke, yet. Please don't say anything to anyone," Rory pleads.  
"Who am I going to tell? You, Luke, and Lorelai are the only ones here who don't still see me as 'that teenage punk who can't be trusted with our beloved princess'."  
"Oh, yeah. Because Luke and I ever saw you as that, at all."  
"Your mom did. But she's gotten over it for the most part, I think. So, are congratulations in order?"  
"Yes, thanks."  
"Well, then congratulations. And who is the lucky guy?"  
"More like unlucky. Logan."  
"The guy we went out to drinks with that one time?"  
"Um, yeah."  
"Hmmm." Jess' face goes carefully blank while his jaw tightens. It's a classic Jess attitude. He's angry but doesn't want to spew. He's gotten better over the past years at holding back.  
"Don't worry about judging, Jess. If I knew the details and where my life currently _isn't_ at, I'd be judging pretty harshly, too."  
At this confession, it appears all the wind goes out of Jess' sails and his face becomes more open once again.  
"Look, previous instant reaction aside, you know you can talk to me if you need, right?"  
"Thanks, Jess, but I don't want to bother you with my pitiful life more than I already have. You've already helped me out so much, with the book idea and...just being you helps. Thank you again."  
"No thanks are needed. That's what friends do. But seriously. I mean it. You can talk to me if you want or need."  
"Great. Then tell me about _your_ next book. I've been waiting for years for more from you." Jess accepts Rory's desire to change the subject and, between doing his job taking orders and delivering food, they keep a steady stream up. They fall back into the habits of talking and flirting they firat started back in their teens. It's nice and it's comforting. It also means more because they're adults now and know how important being able to talk about anything and everything is. Whether in a friend or a potential romantic partner.


	3. Chapter 3

During the week of her mom's honeymoon, Rory bites the bullet and goes to see Paris. She knows the acerbic woman will insult and yell and bluster, but Rory also knows Paris will set her up with the best OB/GYN she knows of and do anything else she can for her. So off to New York she goes.  
Getting in to see Paris was a little daunting. Paris had told her she was welcome any time, so she hadn't thought to make an appointment with her. The receptionist almost didn't let her in, until Paris was walking out a couple and spied Rory at the desk.  
Paris left no doubt that Rory Gilmore was allowed to drop in without an appointment and others would wait if they wanted Paris' time and attention. If that wasn't enough, she sneered at the man's degree and threatened his job.  
Paris lead Rory into her office quickly and started firing off questions at her as normal.  
"Wait, wait, wait. I came to tell you something and get a reference, before I get sidetracked."  
"Okay, so adoption, abortion, or OB/GYN?"  
"_What_?! How did you guess?"  
"Oh, please. I make my living around pregnancy. You can't hide it from me. Besides, what other references could you possibly want? How far along are you? Have you had it confirmed by a doctor? You need to give up your caffeinated coffee IV if you haven't already, though results are still out on that. No more than about 12 oz of fully leaded coffee a day if you must indulge is the going consensus."  
"I'm already on decaf. I'd say I'm about 7 weeks along and I've only taken the home test so far. I was wanting your opinion on the best OB."  
"Simply put, I am the best. But I can see by your Bambi face that you'd rather not have your bestie up in your lady junk. I'll get back to you on my reference. No more than a few days. So. Seven weeks. That means you still have time for all the options, if you want them. Have you thought about it?" Paris asks gently, knowing herself what a huge decision it is whether to bring another person into this world or not. Besides, she doean't want send Rory into hormonal tears and blubbering.  
"I'm going to have it."  
"Do you mean to keep it? I imagine with Casanova's blond hair and your big blue eyes, you'd get it snatched up by any family you want."  
"I'm keeping it. I fon't know much about my future, but I know this baby belongs in it."  
"Then congratulations. I'm happy for you."  
"Wait, how did you know he has blond hair?"  
"Huntzberger is no secret, no matter what you think or how much you tried to hide it. Not that you tried all that hard, with all those public outings and trips tmyou two took together."  
Rory sat back and reflected on what Paris had just said. It both added to and relieved some of the guilt she'd been carrying. Adding to, because it sounded like they'd been flaunting their Vegas relationship at Odette. Relieved, because they hadn't hidden it well, which meant Odette had known and made her decision with open eyes, evidently.  
"What's the face, Gilmore?" Paris probes. Rory explains.  
"You don't have anything to feel guilty over, really. He was the one with the commitment. But feeling like an idiot or a jerk, that is understandable. Although it does nothing for your current situation. So when are you going to tell him? Do you need a lawyer? I have a particularly viscous one who would no doubt love to make Huntzberger pay."  
"No, thank you, Paris. I'd rather not involve lawyers from the beginning. Though, keep it in mind for if things change and I need them. I don't think I want to tell him until the first trimester's over. Maybe then. I haven't decided."  
"Okay... So I'll bite. _Are_ you going to tell him? He should know, even if just so he can help pay for it."  
"Of course I'm going to tell him. I don't care about the money aspect. He deserves to know his child. But I'm not ready to tell him yet and deal with how this impacts the dynastic plan of the great and terrible Huntzbergers. Does that make me terrible?"  
"No, it makes you human, Rory. Now that we have that discussed, onto the fun stuff. I have my kids' baby stuff up in the attic. We'll go through it and get you a good basic setup started. I think I even have my breastpump in there still. We'll get you some clothes and some equipment. Did you drive Luke's truck or your car today? Oh, right, Luke probably took his truck on their honeymoon. Well, you can come back for the crib, the stroller, and the changing table. Let's take lunch and go over to my place."  
"Now?! Paris, it's the middle of your work day! Don't you have appointments or meetings?"  
"They can all be rescheduled. You need this and as this baby's godmother, I declare my right to see it off to a good start."  
At that, Rory had no way to prptest and gave up, knowing Paris would just steamroll any other objections and possibly end up hurt. So after clearing Paris' schedule, they grabbed some falafels from a deli not too far from Paris and Doyle's brownstone and ate before heading up tgose many long, steep stairs. Rory could see how they would contribute to the inability of keeping a nanny, especially when combined with Paris' daunting personality.  
They spent the next few hours going through the Gellar-McMaster's attic and Rory came out of it with quite the haul. Boys and girls' outgits, plenty of gender neutral clothes. Bottles, the dreaded breastpump that Paris swore by, and bedsing for the crib that Luke would help retrieve at a later date. It was all expensive, high quality loot and Rory was both grateful for and overwhelmed by it.  
Eventually, they called for pizza and ate with the kids before Rory left to go back to Stars Hollow.

* * *

The week of waiting for Luke and Lorelai tp return would have been excruciating for Rory were it not for Jess. They talked and laughed together. Well, she laughed and he smiled, as he was still stingy with his laughter. They flirted and argued about books and movies and the world at large. He asked occasional questions about her pregnancy, but they didn't dwell on it.  
And she wrote. Rory was hoping to have the book written by the time the baby came, but little had she expected the drive of the words themselves to come pouring out of her. It was, at times, like she couldn't stop the flow long enough to acknowledge the world or the days going by.  
Eventually, Luke and Lorelai returned and Jess went back to his home in Philadelphia. The time to break her stepfather's heart had finally been thrust upon her.  
"Luke, I need you to sit down."  
"Okay..."  
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just going to say it. I'm pregnant." Rory can't even look him in the eyes. This man who's been more of a father to her than her own ever was.  
"I'm gonna kill him. Who is it? Just point me to him. I'll get you money out of him and then I'll kill him." Luke sounds so enfuriated and yet calm and sure that Rory looks up in confusion.  
"Now, Luke, darlingest, dearest husband o' mine, there's no need for a killing spree. Is it a spree if it's just one person? I don't say I've had a shopping spree if I've only bought one item. Wait, where was I? Oh, yeah. No need to murder anyone, Luke. Rory's better off if you're not in jail. She just explained she needs us."  
"Fine. I at least get to punch him. A lot."  
"Sure, sure."  
"So, who do I get to punch, Rory? Are you okay? Is it something you want? How did he react? Is he planning on supporting his child?"  
Rory was feeling overwhelmed by Luke's many questions, but tried to answer what she could.  
"I haven't told him yet. I will. I promise. I just...can't, yet. Knowing him, money won't be a problem. I'm okay, Luke. I haven't had bad symptoms yet, but I'm still waiting for that. It's not something I would have tried for at this moment in my life, but I'm happy about it. I want this baby."  
"Then I'm happy for you. Look, I'll clean out the apartment over the diner so you can move in there and have room. It's nothing much, but it's bigger than your room here and has more privacy, but you'd still be close to everyone who will help you if and when you need it."  
"I couldn't ask that of you, Luke."  
"You're not. I offered. It makes the most sense. And I'll be glad to have it used again."  
"Okay, then. Thank you, Luke. I do have a favor to ask of you, though. It involves you, your truck and furniture I'm getting from Paris"  
"Just let me know when. Give me a few days to clear out the apartment and we can take it straight there."  
"Great. I'll talk to Paris and let you know. Thank you, Luke. Really."  
"Anything for you, kid." Luke means it but almost regrets saying it as Rory's big blue eyes start swimming in tears.  
"Aww, honey, those hormones are sure acting up, aren't they? You get happy, you cry. You get annoyed, you turn murderous. What joyful and unique experience is motherhood." Lorelai takes Rory into her arms and lets her cry it out for a few minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Luke clears the apartment out and moves Rory's belongings -- along with all of her boxes from everywhere, _finally_ \-- they go to retrieve the baby furniture from Paris. Luke assembles the crib and Lorelai comes to help set up the space and decorate with what Rory currently has. This is both to help her and to see what is still needed. And they thought _Lane's_ baby shower was huge. Just wait until it's Rory's turn. It's likely to turn into it's own festival-type weekend, accompanied by carnival rides and junk food peddlers galore.  
Rory still travels to Hartford to the Gilmore estate to write when she can, and plans to continue until the apartment mess has settled. But she has no clue how to break the news of her unmarried, unplanned pregnancy to her grandmother.  
Lorelai continues to both tease and support Rory as she slowly grows and changes both bodily and emotionally. Lorelai is the number one reason Rory's pregnancy is as fun as it is. They've always been the best of friends, this just draws them closer.  
Eventually, Rory feels ready to tell her grandmother and so they go on an almost five hour road trip for a couple of days at Emily's home in Nantucket. Both are dreading her reaction, knowing it won't be pretty.  
"Well, so what bad news did you two wish to impart today?"  
"It's not bad news, Grandma."  
"Yeah, what makes you think it's bad?"  
"Well, it's Rory's news but she dragged you along, Lorelai, for backup. That's only ever signalled 'bad'. Oh, god, you're pregnant, aren't you? That's why you defend it and say it's not bad while trying to break it to me gently, instead of over the phone. Well, who's the father? Don't tell me it's that Huntzberger boy."  
Rory and Lorelai are both noticeably silent as they each look a different direction, mostly at the floor.  
"So. Pregnant. Unmarried. And the father's engaged to some other woman. Well, when you try to exceed the lessons your mother instilled, you sure know how, Rory. I'll give you that. I presume you've decided to keep it and raise it. Otherwise you'd never be telling _me_ about it.not that either of you has said a word, when normally I can't get a word in. You know this would disappoint your grandfather. But he loved you with everything he was and he would've loved to have met your child. So I suppose congratulations are in order."  
"Thank you, Grandma."  
"Now, now. No need for tears, though I'm sure you've very little control over them right now, in your state. How far along are you? You don't appear to be showing yet, so it cant be too far. Have you told Huntzberger?"  
"Not yet. I want to wait. At first i was just going to wait until the first trimester was over, just in case. But then I realized he's probably going to want proof it's his and thatll have to wait until after it's born. I wont put the baby at risk by finding out what I already know earlier."  
"Well, _that's_ being responsible and thoughtful, at least. How far along are you?"  
"I'm almost nine weeks. I have my first doctor's appointment next week. Someone Paris said is the least incompetent moron she was able to find."  
"High praise, coming from Paris. I remember the first time she came to the house, for your school project. She's always been such a fierce and determined girl."  
"Yes, and she hasn't really changed. Just added two children and a husband to the list of things she reigns supreme over. She gave me some of her children's things. In fact, now I don't really have to worry about much furniture."  
"Well, that was sweet of her." The three women continue to talk about baby-related items until they slowly move onto other topics, such as Berta's kids and the house next door and Emily's job at the museum.  
The rest of the visit goes just as well, though Lorelai had had a contingency plan in case Emily had frozen them out until they left. By the time they did leave, Emily seemed to have accepted what she couldn't change and decided to embrace her new status as great-grandmother-to-be. She wanted to be called "Gammy" as it was not overly cute nor overly formal. She felt it was a good compromise. Emily was not sure _why_ Lorelai wanted to be called "Bibi," which is Swahili for grandmother, but just accepted it and moved on. To do less would annoy her and she was finished with being annoyed with the situation.  
Rory and Lorelai left with the promise that they would let her know about the baby shower and, yes, where she would be registered.

* * *

The next week, Rory and Lorelai went to the doctor's appointment. Lorelai informed the doctor she'd been feeding Rory prenatal vitamins and they performed a sonogram, printing out copies for both Rory and Lorelai. They would make extra copies for others later. Rory seemed to be spot on on her progression and was healthy, though her blood pressure was up a little bit. That type of thing was to be expected when going to the doctor's office, however, so the doctor wasn't concerned.  
When they left there, they went shopping, and to register for some things, and to make copies of the sonogram photo.  
Lorelai had a few projects in mind to document this pregnancy and for the baby shower.  
Now, Lorelai wasn't exactly the most thrilled her unmarried, mostly unemployed daughter was pregnant by another woman's man. But Rory was finished with school, was of proper child-bearing age and had a direction. Maybe she didn't have the goal of a destination in mind yet, but she was on the journey to one. So Lorelai wasn't going to risk pulling an Emily Gilmore, as had happened to her in similar situation, and possibly lose or alienate her daughter. Again. Twice in one lifetime was more than enough for her, thankyouverymuch.  
During all this time, Rory has been back in continuous contact with Jess. They talk on the phone and text back and forth about everything and nothing. The minutiae of their repective days and the big things, like Rory's pregnancy and Jess' publishing company needing more investors to grow. They know they're friends, now. But they are afraid to question if they're heading in the direction of more than friends again. It had failed when they were younger, but was that because they weren't ready or because it wasn't a good fit, period? And what about the fact that Rory would soon have a baby? That's a lot of responsibility, and it's also a big distraction and time-consumer. The book or a job of any other kind would be enough, but a baby's in a whole different league.  
Not that either Jess or Rory wondered aloud where they were going or thought to say it. Jess would be back in Stars Hollow for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, though, so they'd have time to try it out if they wanted. Or were brave enough.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanksgiving came a few days after Rory's first doctor's appointment. She made sure Jess had his own copy of the sonogram photo as a thank you for all his inspiration. They were awkward as they hugged hello. Both were flushed and nervous. Lorelai noticed while Luke was clueless as usual.  
They each tried to breathe around the other, but found that wasn't so easy to do. They ended up kissing before the night was over. Rory tried to back off and apologize, saying she wasn't trying to make him a replacement anything, no matter what the timing may seem like. Jess understood, but he'd had time to contemplate her situation and whether it was a pro or a con -- or neither or both.  
"I don't think you're trying to turn me into anyone's replacement, Rory. Not only do I know you better than that, I know myself better. I'm not the type. But your situation is not a reason I'm willing to walk away from an opportunity like this with you. We're both of an age where we've contemplated being parents and if that's something we'd choose or not. I've always known I'd only choose it if I loved the woman enough. But if it happened, I would never be Jimmy and walk away, no matter my relationship with the woman. This baby isn't mine, but neither are you Luke's. Has that ever made a difference to him?"  
"No, but--"  
"No 'buts'. I'm a grown man. I can make an informed decision on my own. I'm not being used or duped or in any way lied to, am I?"  
"Of course not!"  
"Then allow me my chosen course. But only if you want to give it a try, too. I don't want to pressure you or confuse you if your head and your heart aren't where I'm at."  
"No, no pressure. No confusion. But, Jess, I'm still a nobody with no future ahead of me, except this baby. I've got no income, the only job I've got is a volunteer position and I only have what I have now because other people allow it. Not because I've earned it. I'm a mess. A messy mess that's only going to get worse."  
"Then we'll work together on getting it right and fixing the mess."  
"Don't you see? I'm not worthy. I've let everyone down in my life."  
"I see the real Rory Gilmore. She can't let people down because that's just not who she is. And of course you're worthy. Hell, truth be told, you're better than I deserve, but that's never stopped me from wanting you. To be with you. The real question, Rory, is do you want me? Do you want to try with me?"  
"Of course I do, Jess! You're great. As a friend and as a person. I do want you," she softly whispers. "I want to try."  
"Then we'll try. Together. And we make a pact. If this doesn't work out, we'll stay friends, even if it's hard for a while."  
"Please, yes. I don't want to lose your friendship. Not ever."  
"Then we won't. Here, let's go back inside. It's cold out here."  
They walked back inside the house with their hands clasped together, fingers entwined. Nobody mentioned a thing. Of course, Emily Gilmore wasn't there. She would be for Christmas, however.

* * *

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Rory and Jess spoke and texted and emailed daily. Though they had yet to go on a date or be more intimate than kissing that night, they were commited to being in an exclusive, trusting relationship.  
Because of the weather, Rory usually wrote in her apartment above the diner. She spoke with the folks handling her trusts from both her grandfather and her father. Rory found that she had enough to breathe a little and not stress too much while pregnant, though she would have to find a job eventually.  
When she told Lorelai, they celebrated by going underwear shopping. With less stress about money, Rory began coming up with ideas for jobs and making money. For both herself and the Gazette. She researched her job as editor and convinced the town of Stars Hollow to begin paying her. Luckily, she'd grown up going to town meetings and listening to Taylor bully everyone and wasn't scared of him. So she told the town she was pregnant and needed the money and what anyone else would be paid. In fact, what Bernie Roundbottom had been paid. And that Taylor threatened to close the Gazette only strengthened the town's response to have Rory continuing to run it.  
It wasn't enough by far to raise a child on, but she had also hit up a few articles for other magazines and newspapers. And she'd asked for a job from her mom for after the baby was born. Yes, she'd follow in her mom's footsteps by working at an inn, but since her mother now owned one, the footsteps merely felt big, not mocking or disheartening.  
The next time Rory and Lorelai went to the doctor, they again got two photos which they copied later for everyone else. Luke was so proud he was gonna be a grandpa, Rory's Christmas gift to him was a baseball cap with 'world's greatest grandpa' on it and a keychain with her first and latest sonogram photos in it.  
Christmas came rolling around as it tends to do and Emily and Jess came to stay. Emily took the guest room that used to be Rory's room while Jess bunked down at Rory's apartment. Everyone was joyful and full of hope for the new year, so nobody thought to argue over it. Besides, it's not like he could get her pregnant. Emily treated Jess politely and as though they'd never met before, which was appreciated by everyone. Jess, for his part, didn't come up with any black eyes or attitude. Again, the effort was appreciated.  
The gifts that year were truly memorable. There were, of course, the prerequisite baby gifts that were a little more special than those theyd give at the baby shower. Such as the tag blanket Lorelai made and Lorelai's baby blanket from Emily. The Christmas tree ornament from Jess that featured an expectant mother made out of rustic metal with a heart cutout on the belly.  
However, the most amazing gifts were strictly for Rory. It started with Emily's gift. It was a shirt box with the latest issue of the Stars Hollow Gazette in it. Rory looked up, confused.  
"Thank you, Grandma. But I don't think I understand."  
"Well, you've been so hell-bent on preserving your little newspaper here, that I brought in someone to look it over and see if it was a sound investment -- with some improvements made, of course. She said it could be profitable with a few tweaks -- her words, not mine -- and so I bought it. For you. I'll give you her contact information if you'd like to hear her ideas. Even if you already think you. Know how to do it, another head wouldn't hurt."  
"Grandma, are you saying you bought me the Stars Hollow Gazette?! Seriously?!"  
"Yes, I did. I do hope it fits, because I can't return it now," Emily teased with a self-satisfied smile.  
"Oh my god, Grandma! You bought me a newspaper! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is amazing! I'd already had ideas on how to make it earn more and maybe expand it a bit, but I never thought I'd get to use them."  
"You're very welcome, Rory. I know your grandfather would have loved to talk with you for hours about your ideas and how to invest and build it into your own empire. He was always very entrepreneurial like that."  
The next gift was from Luke and Lorelai. There was a computer-shaped stress ball in the small box. Again, Rory was confused, but said thank you and please explain.  
"We're funding the new computers and software for the Gazette. The newspaper will pay for the renewal and the website, but we'll be buying the initial setup. Mom's investigator already gave us a ballpark figure, so we worked it out."  
"You've got to be kidding me! That's so -- that's just so incredible! Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Luke."  
Jess' present was three shirt boxes stacked together. The top box held a 'Rory Gilmore - editor' nameplate and a bound copy of every issue of the Gazette she had produced. The middle box held a bound copy of every article Rory had ever had published so far. The final box held a copy of Jess' latest book manuscript. The one before even the cover is decided on.  
Rory squealed in delight at the manuscript, which was longer than _The Subsect_ had been. It was a full blown novel length book. She was so proud and excited she jumped towards him, hugging and kissing him right in front of their family.  
"Thank you, Jess! You've no ismdea how proud I am of you! But you managed to keep this a secret this whole time?! I can't believe you. You smart, sneaky man! And thank you for the other gifts, too. They are beautiful and so sweet."  
Emily gave Rory her investigator's card and her lawyer's card, so they could discuss the transfer of the Gazette over to Rory and things she needed to know.  
The whole holiday seemed perfect. All three of the Gilmore girls still missed Richard, but the harsh edge of grief had been mellowed, as this was the second Christmas holiday without him. They all know he wasn't really that far away from any of them. They'd always carry him with them.


	6. Chapter 6

The month of January saw Jess and Emily return to their respective homes, tge new computer setup at the Gazette was installed, and another doctor's visit by Rory and Lorelai.  
Rory would be showing quite a bit more, if it weren't for bundling up in coats and sweaters because of the weather, so the townspeople were left rather disappointed in that. But the sonogram photos were distributed so everyone who wanted to keep tabs could.  
Rory continued pouring out words into her Gilmore Girls book, making it grow exponentially larger than she'd ever thought it would be. But that's what the editor was for, right? She also got an agent to sell the book for her. She and Jess had decided it wasn't a good fit for Truncheon, his publishing company. And they didn't want to mix business into their relationship.  
She continued finding articles to write, though they were few and a little too far between, since she was trying to stay local and not travel. She did, however, find that she had ideas for a series of books based on Stars Hollow and its various characters. So she wrote down everything she could that came to mind for them. Rory felt like she was nothing but creative for the next couple of months. She worked on improving the Gazette, selling ads and extending offers for articles. She wrote Gilmore Girls and various anecdotes and outlines for her series. She and Lorelai worked on commemorating her pregnancy journey, as Rory didn't ever see herself going through this again.  
It's not that Rory didn't like being pregnant, though she did feel it was weird at times, having someone she's never met inhabit her body with her. In fact, except for the frequent headaches, she felt fine.  
She was able to wear some maternity shirts and dresses from Paris and Lane, so she didn't even have a lot of maternity clothes to buy, besides pants. Though leggings were her favorite.  
They tried to determine the sex of the baby, but it wouldn't cooperate and then Rory decided it should be a surprise if it wanted to be. So then she only would allow news about the baby if there was anything to worry about. Nothing else.  
During all this time, Rory and Jess remained a long-distance couple, only seeing each other about once every three to four weeks. Jess was as excited for the baby as Rory, which truly meant a lot to her. She knew that regardless of how Logan reacted, she had Jess and he'd either be a great father figure or uncle. Whichever one he wanted to be.  
In March, the doctor put together Rory's frequent headaches and high blood pressure and put her on bed rest. This worried everyone except Rory, who was simply annoyed, though of course she obeyed. After all, that's what they made laptops for, she said. Then, in mid-April, at about 30 weeks in, Lorelai gets a call in the night from a very scared Rory. She thinks she's gone into labor. Lorelai wakes up Luke and they rush over to Rory's apartment, where they find she's hurting and cramping. It's off to the hospital for the trio.  
It turns out to be real labor, so Luke calls Emily and Jess to let them know. They each begin the trip towarsmds Hartford, scared and worried.  
Everyone waits around as the doctors first try stopping the labor, to no avail. Then the labor takes forever before, finally a boy named Richard Lucas makes his appearance. Then, to everyone's surprise, another boy is delivered. Theres no name for him and no name to get one as the doctors begin fighting to save Rory, who is bleeding profusely. Then she strokes out and passes away. The doctors try to revive her, to no avail. She's gone.  
Lorelai and Emily are beyond devastated. They can hardly function. The tears don't seem to have an end. Jess is wrecked. He almost had the life he wanted with Rory and the baby. Now she's gone and two babies are left. Luke is shocked, but tries to take care of everyone before he loses it.  
Once Lorelai can speak, Luke has her use Rory's phone to call Logan as she'd promised a few hours before, "if anything happens to me, Mom. It won't, but just in case, promise me."


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next couple of days, Lorelai and Emily were driven by Logan's driver -- at Logan's insistence -- to run the various errands associated with putting together Rory's funeral and wake. For once, the two Gilmore women didn't argue about anything. Rory had believed in traditions but was also quirky. They managed to represent both sides of her with nary a squabble.  
The three men were left to take turns sitting with the babies and taking breaks. Well, Logan didn't really take breaks. He made phone calls. To everyone who managed his many funds and investments. He wanted to make sure Mitchum had no access to his money or to the firms that handled it. He would relocate to the States, there was never any doubt in his mind once he knew of his boys. What he would do, exactly, he didn't know yet. But he would do what he could to shield his children from the Huntzbergers and their dynastic plans.  
He still needed to break things off with Odette, but that was a worry for later, when he went back to London to retrieve his things and ship them back to the U.S.  
He found out, by talking to Luke, Jess' name and what Rory had been up to the past few months of her life. He was happy to hear about the Gazette and the book. Luke didn't know details, like if the newspaper was profitable or if Rory had found any place to buy her book yet. But he informed Logan of wjat he did know, when they spoke. Logan was like a dying man in the desert, soaking up every drop of Rory's life he could get. Luke appreciated getting to talk about his almost-daughter and feeling the joy of moments shared with her and his pride and love for her.  
Jess and Logan didn't speak much, seeming to instinctively know they were rivals. Jess was sad and angry and knew he'd been kicked out of the boys' life before he'd gotten the chance to be in it with them. He'd loved Rory's baby when she was pregnant because he loved her. Now, he lost three people he loved. And nothing would ever make it right.  
Luke understood what Jess was feeling, but knew he couldn't fix it or help him, except to be there for him.  
Logan, for his part, wasn't angry at Jess having been with Rory these past months. In fact, he was grateful she'd had someone who loved her, though he wished it could have been him. Or him and Jess both supporting her. He'd like to think he could have put aside jealousy and been there for Rory's sake and the sake of his babies. Though he wasn't sure if it were true.

* * *

At the funeral, no mention was made of little Ricky and Corey, nor of the true nature of her cause of death. They all agreed, since Rory's death would likely get back to Mitchum and Shira, that they'd go with the simplest of answers. She died of a stroke from a hypertensive crisis. Logan's presence with the family was noted, but nobody dared bring it up to the grieving group.  
Very few people from Stars Hollow were invited to the funeral and wake, but those few were asked not to mention Rory's pregnancy or the babies to anyone -- for the protection of the boys. Nobody had a problem kewping that promise.  
Stars Hollow had their own gathering later in the week to celebrate Rory's life because she had belonged to all of them, as they all belonged to her. The boys she lwft behind would be forever treasured as part of her legacy. Logan was again among the family at that time. He and Jess were treated equally as Rory's significant other. There was no real competition. They'd both loved her and both lost her.  
During the gathering, the question was posed about what would happen to the Gazette. And what would happen with the next issue that was due out in two weeks? Logan got an idea and took Lorelai and Emily aside.  
"I realize this isn't the time or place to talk business. But I overheard that Rory's Gazette is due out in two weeks. If you'd be okay with it, I'd like to help. I'm not asking for an answer now, I just wanted to bring it up so you could think about it. I know she loved that paper and I've got the experience to make it happen. Let me know."  
The women agreed that they'd think on it and get back to him. They then each went back to mingling, trying to partake of the Rory stories.

* * *

After a week, Jess had to go back to Philadelphia to his company. He'd already been away quite a bit over the past few months, traveling to see Rory. So he had a lot of time to make up to his partners, though luckily they were understanding and sympathetic.  
Logan heard Jess telling Luke his plans to leave and decided to make an offer.  
"Jess, may I talk to you for a moment?"  
"Fine, but make it quick. I'm getting ready to leave."  
"I know you are. I also know you loved Rory as I did, though I imagine you loved her longer. So these boys, they mean something to you. I want them to grow as loved as I always wanted to be. If you would be okay with it, Id like to keep in contact with you about them. I'll make sure you have current photos and don't miss out on their lives."  
"Why would you do that, Huntzberger?"  
"Like I said, you loved Rory. I'd like my boys to grow up knowing her as much as they can. And you love them already. You loved them before I did. There's no competition, man. We both love them and it would only benefit them to experience that. You stay in their life as much as you can and I'll keep you updated when you can't. Is it a deal?"  
"It's a deal. Thanks."  
"Thank you for accepting."  
Logan took down Jess' phone number and email address and went back to the NICU to give everyone else room to say their goodbyes. Emily, having hugged Jess goodbye, also went to the boys, giving Luke and Lorelai more privacy with Jess.  
"That was a kind and very mature gesture you just made, Logan."  
"I meant it. These boys will only benefit being surrounded by love. Look at Rory turned out. I want to be a better man than the boy he met when Rory had dropped out of Yale."  
"I would say you're on the right track. Lorelai and I talked about the Gazette. We would appreciate you putting out the next issue. We know Rory would be glad her paper is still going. I don't know what we'll do with it in the long run, but I guess we'll take it a step at a time."


	8. Chapter 8

Logan went into the Stars Hollow Gazette a man without a purpose, except the terrifying one of being a dad. When he was finished producing the latest issue of the Gazette, he was changed. He felt happier. He felt like he could see himself being happy on that strange little town, running the local paper and corralling his two boys with the help of the sometimes crazy townies.  
He flew back to London to gather his belongings and officially break it off with Odette. He had hired a moving company and by the time they were finished, she still had not shown up. So he left her a note.  
_Odette, we are finished. I can no longer be with you. Keep the ring, do with it as you wish. The flat is yours until the end of the year. You are a sweet, beautiful, terrific woman. I wish you only happiness. Logan_

* * *

Logan knew he was treading on dangerous ground when he was speaking to Emily and Lorelai. But it needed to happen.  
"I brought you ladies out because I have a proposal to make. I'd like to see where your heads and hearts lay on the idea. Plus, being seen with two such beautiful ladies is an ego-boost." They gently laugh, as he'd intended. "I've completely cut ties with Mitchum Huntzberger, he's just not yet caught the clue so far as I know. Then again, as you know, I changed my number. I edited the issue of the Gazette as I promised I would. It allowed me to get to know the town more than just as the wacky stories Rory told. I felt happy working at the Gazette. I would like to continue on as editor, growing the paper as Rory planned. I would also like to move there and bring the boys home to Stars Hollow when they are released. This is a joint discussion for the two of you, as the surviving Gilmore girls. What is your first impression of my plan? Please, be honest."  
"Why the Gazette?" "Why Stars Hollow?" They both question him at one time.  
"I can tell you what you already know to answer why the Gazette. I was born and bred to run a newspaper. It turns out, I'm also good at it. But the Gazette gives me something the Huntzberger empire doesn't. Connection to real people and a real community. I've been searching for something like that that didn't have Mitchum's greedy hands all over it and found it. Why Stars Hollow? Some of the same reasons. Also because it's Rory. So along with it being out of Mitchum's sizeable reach and the real characters and community, Rory proved it can be a great place to grow up and become who you want, not who you're expected to be. I want that for my boys."  
The women were silent for a moment and the waiter brought out their meals. They moved onto other, lighter subjects for the duration of the meal by unspoken agreement. Once it was decided they would have coffee for dessert and it was served, they got back on topic.  
"Are you merely wanting to be editor or owner and editor of the Gazette, Logan," Emily inquired thoughtfully.  
"I would do either. I'm not looking to take advantage of your grief. If you need time to decide what to do with Rory's paper, take it. I understand fully. If you decide to sell it, I'm offeringbto buy it. If you decide to keep it, I'm applying for the job of editor."  
"I see. I'll discuss it with Lorelai and get back to you within the next two weeks. How does that sound?"  
"Perfectly acceptable, Emily. Thank you."  
"Where would you settle in Stars Hollow? I don't think Luke would allow you to live in her apartment over the diner."  
"I would find some house or other. Build one if I must. I'm not trying to take over Rory's life or place. I'm trying to raise our boys the way she would want and that honors her memory."  
"I hear the Twickham house is for sale again. It'd be big enough for you, the boys, and a nanny. But I'll give you the info for the Stars Hollow realtor."  
"Thank you, Lorelai. I appreciate your support."  
Within two weeks, Logan was buying the Stars Hollow Gazette. Within another month, he was signing on his new home. The Twickham house was his.

* * *

"Logan, can you come to the Dragonfly for lunch with me? I need to pick your brain," Lorelai offered honestly.  
"Of course. I have something I need your help with as well. I'll be there at 1."  
At one, Logan and Lorelai sat in the Dragonfliy's dining room and waited for the other to start. Lorelai broke first.  
"So you know about Gilmore Girls. The book Rory was writing."  
"Yes."  
"She evidently had an agent who didn't know about her passing because I didn't know about her existence. Anyways, this agent started negotiations with a publisher. Since you sort of work in that industry, I was hoping you could help. Look over what she wrote and see if it appears complete. If so, I'd like to know if they made a good deal or not. The money would go in trust for the boys, of course. Just like the money from the sale of the paper."  
"I would gladly read over the book for you. As for the deal, a better person to know would be your other son-in-law, Jess. He's in publishing. But I can run it by him, see if he'd help you out. I'm sure he'd be happy to. We've talked about the book and how proud Rory would be to get it published."  
"You and he talked?"  
"Yeah, he's been slowly warming up to the idea that I'm not a complete ass."  
"That's good. So between the two of you, we might be able to get her book published. That's great. Now, you said you needed my help with something."  
"I don't know how to hire a nanny. Well, I know _how_, but I don't know how to hire the _right_ nanny. Here's all the resumes I've gotten so far. I just don't know how I'm supposed to narrow it down even to get to the interviews."  
"I can help with that."  
"Bibi to my rescue once again. Thank you, Lorelai."  
"When do they come home?"  
"In about three weeks, if all goes well. It'd be right about what was her original mid-June due date, which is rather expected."  
"You ready for the Sip and See?"  
"It's better than a baby shower. But yeah, I think I can handle the town of Stars Hollow coming to admire my boys and getting a little tipsy."


End file.
